Swindon

sWINdon

This is a series of ideas for the place where I am currently located, it does need a bit of an upgrade to feel good about itself and to be greater respected.  I hope these are deemed to be ideas that will make Swindon sWINdon!

The first one concerns the building called The Locarno which has been unoccupied and unused for far too long, and the surrounding car parks.  First the building itself.  I’ve looked at the front of the building and thought the ground floor could be like a gentlemen’s club, in that there good be leather seats or similar, old cloth books around the walls, deep dark masculine decor – somewhere where men can be themselves – though these days all those who feel more at home in this environment would be equally welcome – it’s just to give you an idea of the atmospheric of the place.  The place could be a coffee house and a place – not to compete with current venues unfairly – a serious non-alcoholic drink establishment – neither of these sweet or sickly stuff, more adult equivalents.  Somewhere where both Brunel and Bond would make tracks to.

Upstairs an old-fashioned light Georgian style tearoom – with all the ingredients you would have got in a Lyons establishment, lovely sandwiches, savouries and cakes that were tasty for the grown up palate – again there are others who do sticky and sweet, this is more subtle in that, though if it were a ginger cake it would really be strongly flavoured – that sort of thing.  The clock tower could be arranged so that three separate private rooms for both purposes so that ladies and gentlemen – or other relationship arrangements could enjoy an engagement using the high tea and or culinary provisions that gentlemen relish as supplied by the club and a good view solitary in their own company.  They would be lifted up – that’s how they’d get there with stairs going up and down left and right of the square rooms looking face on too.

The large rectangle I think would make a good dance floor.  Many people love Strictly Come Dancing and adore period dramas where they perform formal dancing and would love to experience this.  A surrounding upper floor viewing balcony will add to the pleasure and participation, this could be accessed both via a lift and a formal staircase within.

The triangle would make an ace auction room – we did have a smaller one nearby at The Planks.  It could be two storey.  We watch those antiques programmes online and personally I’d love it if we had one of those places so we could again join in this pleasurable journey into the past.  I know we do have charity shops where gems can be found, this sort of establishment could help these charities realise the full worth of donated assets to benefit their charities more this way.

 

There are surrounding car parks currently, I would transform them. I do have a better idea for parking just up the road, that’s next after this!  This design would provide for disabled parking by narrowing the bit too wide pavement by the co-op and widening it on the Locarno side of the road.  The roundabout will need a little shift too.  The blue badge parking would be in the widened Locarno side at 45 degrees to the traffic making it easy to slot in and giving good visibility on going out.  I’m considering an activated traffic light with a crossing system for a bit up the road so that as disabled drivers start to move, they then pause, and the traffic is stopped by the movement of their vehicles, that sort of thing, though most have managed in many traffic environments.

The idea for the car parks is a permanent Farmers’ Market, with permanent structures.  I’m thinking like the permanent tents outside the Houses of Parliament by the River Thames for the Commons and the Lords, with their green and white and red and white striped tents that are always there.  Meat is marketed in colour themes, which for this I would stick to.  There are also various sensitivities that people have so to have individual tents where there is a door at either end, one to enter and the other to pay and go from, will help both flow within and allow real choices.  The tents internally will be wide enough for a good walkway, then the width of two chest freezers either side and staffing space, taking into account tall people’s needs – the triangle bit of the tent will come down at the side at a good height.  4 of these structures will be placed in the larger car park accessed via Marlborough Road by that road in a row with the exits by that pavement, there will be sufficient space in between each tent to walk through to enter another. They will be in this order, starting with the one closest to the building:

Blue for Pork, including wild boar, sausages, bacon, pork charcuterie and pork products

Red for Beef, including bison, and all beef products in all their varieties, no dairy produce.

Green for Lamb, mutton, venison, goat, alpaca, and all products from that type of meat

Yellow for Chicken, cockerel, duck, goose, and all bird meat, but not eggs.

An Egg structure would be adjacent to the Yellow tent, with the pointy end (exit and entrance) adjacent to the Green tent.  It would be a domed brown egg at the top and have a white wall coming down with a transparent quality about it so you could see within a globe of yellow yolk within.  You would pay in the centre and the eggs would be displayed around the sides.

Next to that on the corner would be a round Big Cheese, with a triangle slice opening for entry and exit, allowing cheeses that required warmer temperatures to be near this and those that needed to be kept cool all the way around to the closed side of the triangle. You would enter in and be channelled in towards the edge at first, then to get out you would go past the checkout loop centrally located then exiting the same way.

On the other side of the Big Cheese would be these:

A Walnut shape for nuts and non-meat based protein products.  This is the best nut shape as the sides rise high to form a roof and will in appearance complement the egg on the other side.  You would enter and exit via a sliding door on the cheese side.

A Fish shape with a rear fin entrance and exit next to the side of the walnut without a door on it, this would narrow in to go into the main body of the Fish.  The fish would curve around the natural contours, the concave side would be Turquoise and the convex silver Grey.

A Fruit Basket would be formed in the area next to the egg, cheese and walnut, in between the beef pork and fish.  This would be a rectangular woven basket with a handle which would be the support structure for the roof that would look like a cloth covering within the woven outer frame which would have curved edges.  The wide side nearest the vegetable plot would have an opening in it.

A Vegetable Plot with wooden sides like a raised bed, this will be another rectangle with square edges.  I had an initial idea for using leaves as coverings to sell vegetables in the open.  This concept will give that atmospheric whilst protecting people from being overly watered!  Most of the sides and the roof will be see through with an under canopy of vegetable leaves with a solid structure stem to hold it all up.  We will try to sell e.g. carrots under what looks like their tops as much as we can.  The entrance for this will be on the same side of the fruit basket entrance.  Deliveries can use the other side safely then and the whole site is more easily securable.

A Bread Basket – as bread needs to be kept dry – could be situated in where HSBC once was – there is a wheelchair lift outside.  This could also be situated within the co-op.  They already sell frozen items like you find at Lotmead pick your own Farm and do homemade style cakes within the store.  With bread I was thinking mainly not too sweet stuff, could include pastries, sweet cakes can be bought at Glamo Rose along the same High Street – none of what I am suggesting here is in competition with current offerings, it is what people would wish to be able to purchase in town. In this same building where I am suggesting a Bread Basket – though I think it would be preferrable to have this located within the co-op as there does need to be a Staff Welfare break and rest area away from the customers, its accessibility is necessary for inclusivity, I think it would be ideal for that.  The rest of the building has been proposed to be living accommodation which looks perfectly reasonable to me.

Paying for everything would be via barcode, basketing items as you go, QR codes will be required on all produce for their information, at the checkout you can request QR information print-outs.  The sellers would be paid automatically by this system, they do not always have to be present.  They can choose how to group themselves with others when they build up relationships.  They can choose to leave items overnight at the market – security systems would be designed to keep the site safe with them – once they are happy to do so.

I was thinking of locating the vegan items separately around the other side of the Locarno – this is a possibility, with the Fruit Basket in the Apps Broker car park, the vegetables and nuts sold at the front of the building.  So you know I kept that in mind, and at the outset of working out the placings at the start of this idea.  This front of Locarno area could be a sitting out plaza zone or additional disabled blue badge parking.

I will be following this up as soon as I can with my parking proposal – watch this space!

Parking for the new Locarno or Old Town Hall, Cornmarket and surrounding fields is just up the road.  Yes, disabled parking is on the spot nearby, and there will clearly be some at this new parking place.  It is currently a car park but I think not the best organised one and it has the potential to have many more spaces.  This is the one next to the co-op.  What I would do to make it fit into the area beautifully is to design it to look like the surrounding houses.  To do this I’d have floors named after rooms in homes, A Cellar, Gym and Games Room fully underground, the next floor up, which would be underground at one end and in the light at the Garden end would be called the Kitchen, Conservatory, Dining Room, the Entrance Hallway through the Garage doors that matched the arched curvature of the old buildings on Newport Street, the next one the Living Room, Lounge, Toyroom and Study zone, the next Bedrooms and Bathrooms, and the final one the Rooftop Loft.  These would be decorated with decorated tiles to make you feel you were in these rooms – the good thing about kilned tiles is that graffiti drawn on them could be easily removed – also if they are damaged they can be replaced with replicas.  The Kitchen, Conservatory Dining room floor would have kitchen cabinet designs and dining room tables on tiles on the all underground side, and front door facias with French windows on toughened glass with the design panels created from translucent materials – a secured enclosed ground floor area but looking like doors going out into the street to mirror those across the road and plants matching the actual real plants outside, which will remain.  The next floor up will have in addition to the entry and exit arched entrances – which can lock overnight – could be useful if the car park was used as a venue on the odd occasion – front doors that look like real doors made of steel.  The brickwork on this side will match the simple style it mirrors, and on the other side a row of uniquely designed houses, with different outer casing bricks to give that effect.  The windows on each floor would be openings with tough metal frames looking like a 12 window pane window, 6 up 6 down.  The inner structure would be the standard concrete, with the ramps at the road side, going up the one end and down the other, with drivers driving as they do in most car parks on each floor to reach the next one.  There could be a small number of small ventilation windows on this side of houses bit to look like a side of a house.  And to make it more authentic an actual – preferably living – green wall – pleasant.  The co-op shop end, where people could walk up and down slopes and a lift which would be useful on icey days when the slope gets slippery – a slope would be more relaxing a safe than stairs and there could be artwork you could then safely look at going up and down to entertain you too, whilst holding on to the banister rail.  This could have clear toughed glass windows too so you can enjoy the view and see that you’re near to the ground as you would know at home.  The roof loft would be tiled going up in a slope high enough to not allow people to climb up it to jump off without a ladder so we could stop them trying in good time and would be open to the elements.  The flooring could be different  colours on each floor, like Bus Lane red, Green, Blue, Beige, Grey and Black, all tarmac colours currently available.  If the car park were quiet and it was a lovely sunny day people could be allowed to have picnics on the Roof top!  The construction plan would allow use before it is all complete as once the concrete inner structure is done, complete with ramps and slopes, initially the lines could be drawn on this to make it useable, and each floor could be cut-off for use in parts when the tiling is done, the flooring colour of the Entrance floor will need to be done first prior to opening, then the multiple upper floors one at a time, then the cellar, so there are to start with 2 floors available to park in then this increases.  The outer casing can be constructed at any time.  The Way In would be near the far end where the pedestrian slopes are and the lorries go to unload – with a give way sign or if deemed necessary a motion sensor traffic light to control the flow.  The Way Out would be a little way along so when you turn left to go out you are already on the correct side of the road and exit is quick and efficient.  Ticketing could be a simple card payment and key your car registration number, with a camera to sense how long you’ve been in the car park as you go out, where it will inform you how much it is debiting from your account – with minute by minute charging – so as soon as you are done with what you are doing or buying you can go back to your car and save yourself some money and at the same time free up another space for other people.  On the odd occasion or more regularly if that’s what people want the place could be used to car boot sales – even if you’ve not got a car, you could get together with others if you like to pay as a pool of people for one car parking space and sell your stuff there – could be handicrafts you have made. This is just one example of the possible potential of the place.

Old Town is what I call in my own mind Uptown as you go up the hill to get there – Billy Joel fancied an Uptown Girl, he thought he was a Downtown man, “that’s what I am“ he said.  Petula Clark thought it was good to go Downtown as it cheered you up!

When you’re alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go – downtown.
When you’ve got worries all the noise and the hurry
Seems to help I know downtown.

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
So go downtown
Things will be great when you’re downtown
No finer place for sure downtown
Everything’s waiting for you.

I’ve wandered around the pedestrianised bit of the town centre and a few streets beyond, and in those streets beyond, mainly, I’ve seen quite a number of International Supermarkets – and then this super idea came into my mind, mainly because other supermarkets had closed or the road had been blocked off to us so the access was no longer easy, I remember when I bought my house in the 90s how thrilled I was that major chains were my local stores, mostly no more, they have gone out of town, free parking I reckon, but they have freed up this space for something else, something new.  I’d also had a dream of a new kind of accommodation using old shops – illustrated here using what was once Laura Ashley, where I remember buying dresses I loved when they came into town – it was a buzz then – it can be again – in a different way – on-line has changed things dramatically.  This building could be several homes using a concept of what I call Conservatory Gardens – where the completely windowed ground old-shop floor could be a garden, you’d enter in that way, I’m sure it would be possible to put a door in there without removing the light. You’d have stair up the back wall into your raised house, 3 floors in this case, the loft can be converted for an extra bedroom, living room kitchen on the 1^st floor, bathroom and bedroom on the 2^nd.

In addition to the conservatory garden housing, apartments within large blocks, bigger broader shop space on the ground type of places, could have an allocated square of space on the roof as their garden, a patio garden plot.

This concept could be completed where possible in the  town centre to give it a lived in life.  I remember when I was young trying to get to live in the David Murray John Tower Building – the flats and top maisonettes – I was on the list – ideal when you’re young, they look lovely, the business bit at the bottom could also be this by making the non-curved top windows openable so ventilating – what a super cool place to live.  The apartment format the same as the ones above it.

Many of the International Supermarkets and other businesses on Commercial Road could be converted into housing.  I am not the only one who has thought this.  I’m not the only one who thinks they could be located better together in the centre of town either.

I also watch TV, as we all do, and look longingly at the street food and want to try it – if only I could afford the flights to get to it!  I love those Global restaurants that have a buffet of the world, so you get to try little bits of everything, they are fantastic!

Here is my dream! :

What I’m thinking is of both a massive International Supermarket and…  – comprising of many stores from all over the world – local e.g. Wiltshire, Yorkshire, Somerset; national for e.g. France, Polski, Italia, España; international e.g.s Indian, African, American, Chinese, Japanese  – by countries and regions – lots of little stores selling all the stereotypical stuff we understand and want to keep buying at a reasonable price and posh specialist items that are otherwise hard to source.  …And an International Restaurant consisting of street food, classy cuisine, regular fare for the regions, et cetera… consider your own concept.  Where you can get items in small quantities – to prevent food waste – though there will be food only bins so they can be processed locally to become pigswill as there are locally producers that would benefit from this. Tables – I’m thinking that the large stores that could not be converted to housing could be reimagined to be anywhere you wanted to be – a fakeation, like a staycation but pretending you are actually abroad, fun!  Pop-ups, tents, gazebos, could be all over the place – a permanent German Christmas market with their log cabins selling German sausages year round, marquees with bushmeat style barbeques just outside.  The buzz of shopping up to the 90s was the business, the hustle and bustle and being with other people, it was so lively and lovely.  This is the kind of atmospheric I am after.

Alongside the International food countries and regions could sell tourist items, arts and crafts from their country and other stuff we might fancy, also postcards with their national stamps, I thought it would be fun if people could post them there all stamped as if they were abroad to go to someone – no-one gets much through their letterboxes these days, so I think this would be most welcome mail on their mats. > : – ) =

There could also be language schools here, and certainly they can sell books and other media to help you learn – perhaps total immersion experiences so you practice as if you are abroad, so you can make mistakes here, learn from them and then when you travel be able to socialise confidently showing complete courtesy to your hosts by conversing in the language of their country, which is polite so you will be welcomed.

For those thinking Venetian right now = Some people say they want the canal to go through town = I have studied another route for that = one that does not disturb the traffic.

It will travel nearby here, at this point, so those on it can park their boats here (where the blue line is thicker – will be straight, the waves are water!) (I’ll map out the rest of the route later, 1 thing at a time) and buy stuff at the Designer Outlet Village and visit what could be called it’S Win Don or something else corny or less corny than that!  People could go away with cloth bags full of goodies with that on it / they could bring their own + they could also be encouraged to bring their own cutlery, straws and plates if they fancy (for our plates etc. we can have centralised wash up for safety, hygiene and efficiency) some may well prefer Tupperware and go home with a takeaway from all over the world and pig out there on Swindon’s finest!As I these concepts were inspired whilst walking my dog – see also Free Food and Stuff on this blog site too – we must allow them into the outdoor space, this is a relaxed street space not an artificial island devoid of life, after all it is all that is natural we are consuming and benefitting from, so we must respect that – they also will help out – willingly – with keeping the street floor / ground free of food!  There will be in this design people with pets tents so they can share their goodies together in love.

Some say places like what was Morrisons would make a good museum space, which will follow next, I have a better idea for the museums we need in Swindon – this store space is a good place for this world wide restaurant idea.

Alongside the International Shops, Supermarkets and Restaurants Cultural Entertainments should be shown – really brings it all to life, visitors could choose to pay them via app, card or cash (the set-up would pay them for being there and if a visitor felt they merited it they could top this up – all applicable taxes and pension savings would be correctly contributed to giving the performers rights and securities)  from Peruvian Pipe Players to Russian Ballet, all sorts from everywhere, a Mela of melas, a complete mix of cultures – this could be a permanent Mela a meal of the senses, Reggae in Swindon Town and Pride could parade here every day of the year too – the ground is tough enough to take it.  They’ve both been at the Town Gardens on and off and this does damage the grass – people go to gardens to switch off and get some peace – here many can mingle to get lively and lovely – and for those that love life this is The Place for that!  To help the locals appreciate it too (I have had drunks really late at night and heard ladies and men in distress) I think a curfew of 10pm is in order, people would have time to disperse pre the REM sleep of others in the area.  This would also be good for those travelling far on public transport, as there would be some available at this time, I’ve been to pop concerts at stadiums and arenas (we could have these in Swindon, yes, I have thought of that) and when they finish too late it can be really tough getting home, sometimes this rules out public transport, which is not good.  I’m imagining people flocking from all over to Swindon for this fun and what they can get here to cook and have fun with when they get home that is a major trek to obtain elsewhere and telling all their friends too – happy faces all round.   Talking of round I really can imagine the Stonehenge and Avebury tours with International tourists stopping off here for a bite to eat – satisfies all palates (you’ll be able to try and taste all sorts from all over, a culinary journey) and appetites (portion sizing will have proportionate pricing so you are encouraged to pay for only what you can eat and no more).  They’ll be hungry for it after all that touring walking.  There’s plenty of space for coach drop offs nearby – gathering beacons could be sited around the periphery to help tired tourists gather (perhaps trackers – wristbands / lanyards / clip-ons – could be borrowed for this too)

So businesses can establish themselves – this does take a bit of time to gain a reputation payment of the rent and rates combination would be as you earn it for international downtown.  So a percentage of earnings would be deducted each transaction.  To make this fair and dynamic more popular and higher paying businesses would be located in the most popular spots and those whose interest in their product is waning will be moved to the periphery, if interest in their offering waxes again they can move back in more centrally.  This’ll encourage keenness and enthusiasm.  When others ask for a spot those failing at the edges will lose their place entirely.  Businesses will be given a time period to prove themselves to give themselves a chance.  All providers will be checked for all the standard hygiene certification – but with far greater frequency than the norm, they will be expected to sign up to this.  There are many reasons for this, with such a diversity of choice in multiple locations it is going to be hard to pinpoint a culprit, so the standard must be at the top end for this all of the time.  An allergy and food info app will be available.   I’m about to suggest something that includes this on another National HEALTH Service blog on this unin.us United in Us blogsite.  You can read my thoughts on that there when it’s up for all to see.

Now I wish to travel across the tracks to the Oasis, yes the band is named after this place.  It is, or currently was – due to lockdowns and lockouts – a paradise.  They say they want to knock it down and build a new one, I say is to make it better at the back of the building, to enhance the good offering we have already got.  To give you the picture of what a wonderful place I would make it I will take you on a journey of what I see, and sea too! :

You enter in up the current slope weaving your way curving from side to side in the form of the effect of a drop of rain on a pond, the cover above would ripple as such.  Either side there would be places to purchase swimwear on one side and accessories on the other such as goggles and armbands – to access these you would leave the queue at one point and if you purchase something you would re-enter further up – the crew would see you have safe passage back into the queue – the exit on one side would be followed by the entrance at the other – tickets and time wristbands – where up until near the engineered closure you wore a colour and were called to exit when your colour came up – would be issued within this flow, so once you were within the building you would go straight to the changing rooms – coins used to be used on the lockers which we don’t carry anymore – these wristbands would have locker numbers on them – they would issue you one suitable for your needs, and if they weren’t returned you’d pay and that one would be deactivated soon after, you would leave them in the lockers to be gathered by the crew, if you returned with it you would get your deposit back.

You would travel inside through a tunnel that featured a sea scene screen on a slope downwards, meandering like a mature river to where the current steps open at the bottom are to the changing areas and a lift in the same place as required.  You’d exit later via a return tunnel, parallel but would go out via either side of the entry cone, along the straight wall or if you choose an outer path that will take you onto the dome hill a bit for the last little thrill.  The changing areas would be reorganised in lines of latitude – the 1^st the actual changing area (outdoor shoes would now be back and allowed in to this area – outdoor shoes were out towards the end – it was fiddly trying to get your socks and shoes on slightly damp feet) You would change.  Then you’d enter the 2^nd latitude the locker area – a light above would direct your way to you colour area and arrows lit up too, after you’d done that you’d pass through the drying zone 3^rd latitude, a few years before the final time I saw some splendid drying machines, you had to pay to use them, I was going to give them a go – these would be part of the package, it would be a bit breezy here!  Then the 4^th the shower area – many types of shampoo, conditioner and bodywash would be on tap – like handwash when you go to the loo, they would be piped through and topped up from above.  So you would not need to bring bottles of stuff nor towels, there would be small towels to use there if you preferred and these would be laundered professionally.  Completely palaver free fun!  These areas would be unisex.  Toilets for all sorts, male, female, disabled and child sized, would be available throughout the site as water can make you want to go, so you have no need to rush dangerously and slip to get to one.  There could be places with shower heads you can move like in your bathrooms at home in sites with grid drainage where you could stand and go to the toilet in your swimwear and wash it all off – so you don’t have the grim and grippy task of undressing and dressing again and sitting on a damp toilet seat – we’ve all done this when at an outside swimming venue holding it in until we get to the showers then making it not obvious by showering at the same time.  You will be back in the nice water all cleaned up and not desperate swiftly.

You would enter in at the current wave and beach pool via a small tunnel entrance.  This would be familiar, as would the relatively quiet toddler pool.  The 3 side slides would be increased in number – these used to be all orange, then blue was added – I’d have a rainbow of them!  They could be in a diversity of textures, bumpy and wavy, not all straight and smooth, more interesting because now when you have done one you have done them all.  You could access them via rainbow stairs too which would be again freely unlocked – they started to put a chained gate on them where you would have to wait in the cold from someone to come to open them, the spontaneous fun evaporated, this would return.

The newer gentle slide around and over the pool would be placed elsewhere and a new one with its source near the entrance to the pool for a different reason – we would not waste this one and put it in another zone.  This enhanced design would be in individual zones, like a lively museum of water experiences.  So take that one out of your mind right now and follow me.  On the left side of the opening to the pools there would a square of waterfalls – the water from this would go through a grid and be pumped back up.  This would be an experience of being inside a waterfall, Niagara Falls from the inside – though a bit warmer – walking up it in a square staircase going up 4 steps then a square landing up another 4, 4 of these and you above where you were.  This will allow those who want to put their hands into the actual waterfall to do so and those who want to wander in wonder in the centre of the square can enjoy that too.  You will see the main waterfall falling over a transparent strong plastic spout over you on the final landing and the other side pumped out like a linear watering can at different levels too – these would have varying volumes of water flowing from them.  Once you are at the top – a staircase from this up 4 more steps will bring you to the next zone – a Roman aqueduct – the water pumped up will go in here first, some will go straight up to the main waterfall, this is as the 3 other waterfall sides will be lower and slower so the physics works.  This aqueduct will have a bit of moving water flow clearly but it will be allowed out throughout the structure for safety – the entry will be hosed in and the outflow narrow slits.  It will be shallow with edges you can sit on along it.  Most people will be able to punt themselves along it with their own arms.  You will be able to walk by the side of it and see it looks like a real aqueduct on one side – the other viewable to those coming in.  At the end of this aqueduct would be a Roman Baths in the form of a Roman temple.  There would be 4 baths of 4 different temperatures – none too extreme to allow children to go in safely.  They would be named after Roman Gods:

Mars – the hot baths – like a hot bath at home – the mosaic floor would be Red and orange with a huge picture of the God, the planet Mars, volcanic flow like Vesuvius, also flames and chilli peppers – a modern twist in each one.

Venus – the comfortably cosy warm baths, with the Goddess Venus on a Shell, a beach scene of Yellow sand, couples in love both human and animal partners, together happy rather than intimate, and the planet Venus which has a sandy hue too.

Diana – the cool swimming pool, you’ll need to move around to keep warm, Green River and Lake scenes with wild animals and fields and forests like around Northern climes, all under a full Moon in a small portion of the day sky

Neptune – the cold pond – not too cold to be dangerous for the young – a bit like entering into the sea around the UK,  ooo that’s freezing sort of thing, Blue Sea scenes; whales, sharks, silvery fish and scenes out in the ocean.  Including a portrayal of the planet Neptune.

These would be in the form of 4 rectangles like the flag of St. George, forming a Cross Roads – the long bit would be called Fosse Way – and would start at the end of the Aqueduct – this would be great as the word means ditch in Latin. The short length would be an edit of Watling Street – another Roman Road, with an italic er in it Waterling Street!

To move on to the next zones – these will be situated in what is now the sports halls and election count venue area – there will be a bridge over the canal – I’ll go back to that in detail – this one to transition from Roman to Later Eras will be a mini replica of the Venetian Rialto Bridge.

The return journey will take you from the Fountain Park zone – again I’ll get back to that – via a Fountain you can go in!  This is a reflection of the other side of going inside a Waterfall – this is where the water goes up!  This will have a different wide spiral staircase – again with breaks in it – so you can stand and wonder at the view.  The Fountain will come up in the centre and the flow will be designed to have its main spurt going right out away from the staircase, with little spurts being sent out to you growing as you go up, so you will get wet, with that mainly being like being in a shower, no heavy amounts of water going on any heads – you can reach out and put your hands into the flow.  The spiral staircase will be like one in a castle but with a wide central circle so there are no bits with barely any stair as is the case at home when they curve round a corner – for function and safety.  The steps will be wide and low so you will be able to stop and stare as you go up – large landings will take away from the aesthetic pleasure of a good appearance, I think, every 3 steps the next one will be wider for this, as wide as 3 steps. To gather the water at the bottom to pump it back up there will be a porous pavement cambered like a dew pond or bowl, then under the staircase there will be a grid to gather it in and pump it up again.  There will need to be a tank there too.

When you get to the top there will be a Spring at the start of a Stream, this Stream will go in a fairly straight line with a little natural unevenness.  You can walk on it and feel – minus the slime – as if you were walking in a stream – this could be a chalk stream – clear and clean – it’ll grow wider and additional flow will be added as would be the case in nature – the floor will feel a bit bumpy but will not contain any sharp elements.  Any natural things like plants will be placed to the sides and will be realistically solid in form.  Prehistoric Silbury Hill could be painted on the Fountain wall side by the Spring. This will continue on the flat until you reach the other edge.  The name – it will be unnamed on the flat but it is obviously a replica of the Kennet at its source – and the nature of it will change then, although the clarity of the water will not, it will be called the River Ray at the start which will change to The Thames – a sign above will say The Thames when you get to that point – decorative features could be either to each side of the slide or as a part of it factoring in endurance and maintenance to work out what is realistic and practical.  This is the replacement waterslide.  It will be green like going down a river, and its course and style will match and mirror a river’s standard course.  It’ll go out straight and do a bit of a turn to follow its current course over the rainbow slides and then start to go from side to side and turn and increasingly meander down and exit into the sand flats of The Thames Estuary – the sand flats could take the form of spongy shapes in a pool shaped like a trapezoid going outwards.  You could travers along this on brown log pool noodle like rafts – so you can grip it and feel like it’s the real thing.

Returning to the brand new area, going past the Domebusters pool – I will get back to that – and close to the toddler quiet pool – there will be a calm Aquarium tunnel – you’ll be able to find Nemo, Dora and loads of other fish and sea life – these would be mainly in small tanks so each fish type is in its own friendly environment for it. This would be particularly lovely for the little ones and anyway it would not be safe for them to go on the upper route, yet.  The floor could be sensory.

As they come out the other side they will come into the Fountain Park Zone – this is one rectangle on one side of the over route (the bit you can see as you enter the centre)  We’ve all been tempted to, but know we mustn’t, get into a fountain in a city or park, we’d get caught and told off if we did, that’s what stops us.  You can go in these!!!  The floor of this zone will be colourised slightly bouncy rubber, giving way a bit like in small children’s areas – this is needed for grip and to ensure little ones bounce and do not get hurt, I see this area as being very useful for parents of mixed aged children where they have a little one to hold and entertain whilst keeping an eye on the bigger kids.  This area will be one of two – the other spanning the other side which will be useful for this, you’ll see or sea what I have planned for in front of this fairly zen zone and will understand.  There will be posh and slightly princessy scenes in the backdrop walls.  They will have a dual function as fountains themselves.  Fountains can come in many forms, the formal we all know and the fun. They can be interactive like the one outside Wembley Arena where you can press buttons to the side of it to soak others walking over it as you are on your way to a Madonna (Confessions tour) concert!!!!  There is plenty of space for a densely packed splash park.  Around the edges there will be soft padded stone (looks like) and recycled plastic park benches in places for those who did not sleep well last night to sit as their active children play, and others within.  I’m imagining formal by the wall, mini iconic fountains from capital cities, perhaps some so small you could use your fingers as feet and others closer to scale.  There could be a slightly 3D rendition, with water of the Tivoli Gardens in Rome on that wall, and also their Trevi fountain, moving on to the wide wall with stately home spectaculars and memorial city ones old and new, subtle and bright. The elements of the Pompidou centre one could be in the park at the bright side on the ground.  So the interactive parts could be art and also engineering.  There will be four fountains on the Tivoli Trevi side to sit in and around and go under the spout – these will be iconic park designs with a central spout design making sure they are 4 completely different designs.

On the other side there will be a quiet adults only fully zen zone.  This will need to be adults only as it will contain jacuzzis.  This is the Boats at Dock zone.  This will give the appearance of both a quiet dock containing dreamboat yachts and a pond going up the flight of Caen Hill locks on the Kennet and Avon canal at Devizes.  Though the floor will be completely white so as to be calm for the grow-ups and provide no attraction to the lively young, it will be shallow, quiet and restful – like the waters in The Lord’s My Shepherd. Artificial grass could emulate fields, plus slate and sandstone, edging and a bit of a raised border, with photographic scenery both of Milk Hill and white horses near the Kennet and Avon canal and cliffs sloping to beaches behind the yacht.  The sides around it will be underwater side seating – with small zone control of the flows and bubbles of the jacuzzi equipment you are personally benefitting from.  By all the side walls will be boats – a yacht (for cocktails), a canal boat (or pub), where within them you will be able to get a drink. Unfortunately due to safety concerns these will need to be totally tee total but what with the flavours and styles available now that is not too much of a sacrifice and it will save us the quandary of what to do with a drunken sailor, a question not yet answered, as if it had been people would have stopped asking it years ago!  As this area is a fair size we could also incorporate stabilised anchored pocket pool loungers in the central area where the pillow could be raised above the water and with designed holes within them to allow massaging water flows – another jacuzzi in reality.  All of these would be transparent or white, again.   There could be a boring lane section on the side away from the wall in this sort of format so it is one way ( ——– ) your wristband will also double up as a tracker, when you enter in prior to being issued with one you will provide your e-mail address and or phone number plus for children their date of birth and height (I bought a Ocean sea creature themed Wallchart in Aldi recently that goes up to 160cm and 64 inches which could be handy here) so we can use these as entries or bar to entry for safety to certain areas – they will also be used as a storage of activities if you wish to get certificates and badges on exit or delivered to your home – tracker distances will be delivered this way.  You may wish to use previous data next time you visit so machines about the place can tell you what you’ve already done and what they recommend you challenge yourself with next, via a QR code sent to you after the event which you can show next time you visit.  Alternatively or additionally there could be a constant flow pool – which would know how far you had travelled based on the speed of the flow you had selected, or both.  Again an adults only option.

The next sections will be called collectively Longitude and The Map – there will be a map of zones, like a treasure map in a Minecraft squared style, as each section will be a rectangle of some dimension.  The whole box could be decorated outside to attract and awe the young as a treasure chest, placed on the ocean floor, treasure spilling out of the lid, this could have a curve upwards to it, which will hide the structural beams beneath – but allowing them ventilation – as they look rusty when in reality it is the coat of red paint beneath.  Having its setting on the ocean floor means it can also at the same time double up as an aquarium, with 3D fish around it, and 3 Mermaids swimming nearby, these could be, with other fish raised detached artwork so it all looks very massively real.

Surrounding the map would be a canal, a stream, a river system complete with a dock where you can pick up a soft one person pedal paddle boat, inflatable canoes with hand flipper oars – like feet flippers for swimming, punts with fixed position central poles, mini dinghies with sails on – not functional sails but they’ll look like the real thing so will be fun (we could have wind blowers en route so they do get to work, very realistic too), and surf and paddle boards – there will be a flow stream to the water – so you can move without moving yourself and you can be less lazy and challenge the current.  This will rise and fall, starting from a mountain scene, a lock system can get you down from the top – though this bit can be avoided and will only be permitted to old and mature enough people who have the strength to handle it sensibly, via a calm canal keeping you on a level, a bit like the flows you cause stirring up your own bath.  This canal is the reason for that bridge – there can be other bridges e.g. London Bridge, hopefully it won’t fall down!  This canal would be about as wide as in between the width and the length of one car parking space.

Now I will tell you about the rest of the treasures that lie within.  The first will be on the side that is furthest away from the entrance.  We had the Domebusters at around the same time as Richmond had a set of slides – without a swimming pool attached, they also used to have an ice rink, now sadly just a Tesco, we have a lovely swimming pool here, which I want unbusted and made even better.  Outdoor Aqua Parks and indoor ones compete on the number and variety of slides they have on offer, we can offer a Wall of them!  These will gradually graduate from gentle entry to the lethal Enema Enemy – I tried one of these at Agua Brava in Roses Catalunya, very brave.  There will be pairs of slides with age, height and experience restrictions, your wristband will give us that information (Yes we will know if you’re wearing somebody else’s so don’t bother to try that one on!) :

The 1^st 2 will enter into the water so you will be eased in, they will be short starting the other side of the box – they will go over the canal first before going into the water. And as in all of these slides they will be tubed, no danger of falling out in anyway.

Number 1 the drinking Straw will be completely straight, so you can see the end of your journey.  You will, as you used to be able to go head first, I always went head first, I felt I had more control, sort of swimming come diving into the water, like a dolphin, fewer and fewer until there were none used the domebusters when it was all feet first, it was all fearful and not fun.

Number 2 the a bit Wavy, will be a bit wavy – the same length plus the bit the waviness makes, swishing slightly from side to side.

For the next 2 you will need to climb some more stairs – these will be reached by getting out of the exit pool and going over the bridge – perhaps London Bridge as it is iconic and will be aesthetically pleasing near to Fountain Park.  You would travel up in a curve on air as it were via see through stairs to the higher level and the opening gates would be left raised as it would be a thrill to travel under that in a boat.

Number 3, Bumpy, will add the elements of step bumping down and

Number 4, Swervy, will both swerve and then swerve and fall a bit.

These will enter the pool with the lip at the water level.

The next 2 will add lights and sounds in 2 Seasonal themes

Number 5 will be a Christmas themed one – dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh.  A long slow ride with lights looking like falling snow and illuminations of Christmas decorations.

Number 6 will be a darker (or more hopefully Harry Potter themed) Hallowe’en one with a night tube which will be illuminated by ghoulish ghostly scenes starting with witches on broomsticks or quidditch and woo-oo sounds etc. which will haunt you or Voldemort you, this will bump you from side to side and could be quite horrible, with the occasional taunt of trick or treat showing sweets and slime.

These will enter the water a few inches above the water line – to simulate flight!  They will both speed up slightly at the end to facilitate that.

Number 7 will add extra jets of water on the ride, it’ll be the Rainforest Ride, you’ll travel through tree trunks in parts and see various wildlife in visuals and sounds.

Number 8 will be a Disco Party style themed – in stereo –  you select a track theme, tracks choices or album by button prior to entry – lights and sounds all the way, and videos too.

All these rides will have been longer and higher as each pair progresses and will enter the water at different paired heights.

Number 9 will be The Challenger – elements that are more than slightly unnerving will be in this one, like going on a showy jet ski at speed.

Number 10 will be The Expert Diver – a twist and turn experience like underwater diving through rocks, over coral and a cave system: Do you come out at the end?  Yes you do!

Some of these pairings could enter the exit pool in different places – unlike the current 3 – as the pool will be large so accommodating. The rule once in it will be to head out as soon as possible, 3 of it’s sides will be stepped all along them with handrails and a grippy rubber floor to walk along to get back to London Bridge for the next rides.  On the stairs up there will be lanes, like as present and also directions to go up specific stairs for specific domed slides.

Adults will be able and allowed to start at Number 1, they will probably be nervous and need the easy start as much as a child.  The next rides might suit them too, as these will be the longest but not always challenging in a robustly physical way.  This is a Triptych rather than a Pair.

Number 11. The Nile, this will have lovely scenes of your passage on the River Styx on your journey to the underworld – quite beautiful Ancient Egyptian scenery and an ending that slows right down allowing you to choose which way you go at the Nile Delta. There will be 2 points along the route where you will also stop, the slide will rise slightly to help you, you must wait until a light goes from red to blue to travel through to the next stage (do not be in deNile about this or a crocodile will bite you on I dunno where, their choice to be frank! I have no control over that) – you will be detected here – this is so there are not too long waits at the source at the top.

Number 12.  Rio – this one will take you on a tour of iconic river and water coursed canyons across the world to tracks like Duran Duran’s Rio and Enya’s Orinoco Flow, Hold back the River, James Bay, Don’t Pay the Ferryman, Chris de Burgh, …~~~…  – great scenes great sounds.

Number 13.  Aqua Vitae – this is a Culture trip through an iconic River (or rivers) The Ganges, a travel down it (or them), seeing and hearing on audio video screens what you would experience there.

These ones the worst for the most daring, you will be advised against them.  They would be accessed by the highest steps, their journeys are both swift and scary.

Number 14 – the Mega-Lethal – like a series of mini bungee jumps in that you’d feel like you were in freefall which will be frightening and totally mental, you’d have to ride your mind that this would eventually end.

Number 15 – the Enema Enemy / NMANME – this is one slide down at such a high % gradient which produces such speed that the water literally and actually goes right up you – it really does – I have experienced this once at Agua Brava – note I said once not twice.

Both of these will allow you to brake at the end via 4 things, 1^st a little lake, 2^nd jets of water being pushed onto your feet and 3^rd the slide going up a bit at the end, it will widen and flatten at this point and all of this will then 4^th gently turn and be under the water level of the exit pool so you can enter calmly – you will need that.

You’re probably now thinking she was going to say about the old Domebusters, here I do.  They were brilliant when they first came out, I will never forget them, but on the apparent refurb they were just painted over outside, which made them darker, and the original tube of lights in the fastest one had gone.  The steps could be repurposed for the new construction.  I found out from a friend that where they were, where you can see portholes I think – I reckon these were what to aim for at the bottom, the ocean floor – where the steps to the open slide within the Dome go up, was a deep pool where the challenge was that you tried to see how for you could go down in it.  I did think of a deep diving element in the longitude map area but thought with all the noise and busy ness that would be dangerous, so this could be recreated here, in a different way, as then they used to hold their breaths for as long as they could and see how far down they could go.  The Dome had not been busted at this point.  I’m thinking that this would be an ideal true diving training experience, in this the calm zone of the place.  I’m thinking that an experienced diver should be in the tank all the time watching on, that the experience time will be very short, minutes (queues, possible potential risk-taking over time) and that the breathing equipment would be part of the solid structure.  The experienced diver would carry a well-protected so the inexperienced divers don’t get hurt by it oxygen supply, but the novices would not.  I’m thinking that air could be supplied via tubes that have a bottom ending like a sink plunger, you put your head in it to breathe – these would be placed around the edges at various depths, and would be clearly visible.  There would be 3 ladders around the edge too, taking you from the bottom to the top, with pool noodles on the handling grip so prevent head injuries on a hard thing jutting out.   The novices would freedive the rest.  There would a mini-model to be shown before you dive in and a training session too each time.  You will only be guided down to a depth as instructed.  The in-tank experienced diver will have air supply tubes for novices to use too, if they avail themselves of this it will be deemed they are struggling and they will be guided, without humiliation out for their own safety.  At any time the experienced diver could hold them by the waist for a lift to the surface if they decided to.  They will referee this at their discretion.  Novices will be given these rules at the outset of the experience.

While I’m in this vicinity I will alter the infant pool.  I will take out the pirate ship – this era will be executed in The Map.  I’ll put a Noah’s Ark in it’s place.  There is currently an elephant slide there.  I will have elephant slides but will change this one for something new.  Noah’s animals came in two by twos.  So I will have 4 animal slides in pairs.  One of these pairs will be wide enough for a Mummy or Daddy to hold their baby to slide down together, the other will be infant width but within infant hold Mummy’s or Daddy’s hand length, so they can go down on their own holding their parents’ hands for their own security and then go on their own with confidence.  The slides will gradually get a little more steep.  The green crocodile pair will be nearly horizontal, the pink hippos with a teeny tiny slope, the blue elephants a bit more with a little uptick at the end of their noses, the yellow giraffes’ necks would slope down going up the most.  In the pool itself there would be a partly in water turtle dome so you can place your babies on it and let them experience a little dip right into your arms.  Also a sit on dolphin which bumps forward and rear up and down like they are swimming in the sea and a whale which you can make squirt a fountain.  Around the edge there will be a crawl around rainbow, this will dip down in steps from red through to purple so that you crawl along wet in red and are nearly swimming in purple, a little nearly swimming splashy simulation readying your muscles for the task.  Swim support fins would be available to borrow in this area too – the pool where the Domebuster riders used to land in can be used as a swimming training pool too, so you are sure they can swim at a depth beyond themselves.  Proving this competence will allow them access to Longitude and other areas available to other older children. Above the pool will be a rain cloud which you can choose to go under which will shower you with rain, and a super sun that will warm you up again.  The Ark will be in 2 halves – the water side will have windows in it with pairs of animals at the windows – you can make them squirt water too.  The other half will be a useful very quiet area for calming little ones and for any changing and feeding you may need to do – those with little ones will be able to bring stuff in to the pool area and leave it there supervised, you’ll get a number band to tie around it which will be the same as your wristband number, so staff can ask you for this to ensure it is there for you when you need it.

I think it would be nice for the little ones to have a place where they can play with bath toys with other tiny toddlers, a “big baby bath” is what I was thinking.  Perhaps this could be placed in the dome behind where the plants are on the ground to the right of what will be the Rainbow Slides.  This will make this area prohibitive to older children so hard plastic toys can be played with, I do not think it is safe for older children to play with these on their own in such a lively environment in The Map, Longitude area.  And perhaps a “little bubble dome” where you go in and get to make bubbles and pop bubbles with an overflowing bubble bath within it – possibly no water just foam – this does need to be separately enclosed with a shower down rinse on exiting to stop this washing up water getting into any pools.  These could look like a mini Oasis and reservoir in effect as the river above is going from side to side in its middle phase.  Another aspect for the toddlers to key stage one infants in the area – like a train set – a canal water set, – Aquaplay, an extensive one with all they’ve got, Playmobil makes mini ones this with characters, these could be included too.

As you may remember I said I would use the blue slide currently in the Dome elsewhere, I would put the steps up to it starting in Zone 4, but making them narrower and in more of a line up to launch in Zone 1 where the slides are to go over the obstacle course in Zone 2 and be in the midst of water all around you in Zone 3 to land at the far end of the High Seas in Zone 4, fairly near the Fountain Park side.

I’ll now return to Longitude and the next places on The Map. These will be a lot more lively.

The next Zone, number 2 (as Zone 1 is the Waterslides) will be made up of a floating inflatable obstacle course.  Inflatable play would take place all around with all sorts of inflatables.  You can slide on flat water sliders in this zone too and compete with your friends.

Either side will be on one side a snakes and ladders with pool noodle ladders and snake slides that go directly into the water. This will both consist of 100 squares of 4 rows of 25 each – so not too high, they will then reach the length of the Zone.

And on the other a Wonderwall with elements in each square with slides you could slide away on, could be similar to – they will look like sponge school gym equipment triangles.  You can climb around, on and in this engineering feature – you can control the water flow – pipes like a marble run where instead of marbles water, containing a bright industrial landscape including cogwheels, waterwheels, Archimedes’ screws, to draw water up and down – all sorts of taps. A wall of wonder – literally.

Zone 3 is chuck it all at me – jets from the side, water dumped from above, geysers from below, an all over fully immersive experience and sometimes somewhat unexpected!  Beach Balls might fly.  Balls that bounce on water will be in play. Body Bumpers could be worn.  Water Polo could be played.    Bungee pinging in and out of the water too and possibly being flown into the water via a chair that chucks you in it – chuck me at it all!  On either side on this Zone will be elements of the water based game show Total Wipeout to try to succeed at!

Zone 4. X 2 = Pieces of Eight will be a pirate cove complete with a pirate ship moored to a central island and that island only being accessible via a climbing wall.  You will be forced to walk the plank to get off the boat.  Punishment dunkings will be administered by the Georgian looking authorities (staff) – this could be via chair or tied to a rope (safely in reality) and will be dropped in the water and pulled out 6 times – 6 of the best.  You can fire water cannons at those who want your treasure or issue some friendly fire for fun.  The parrots are very friendly and like to chat.  You can dive for contraband – well at least you can touch it and make arrangements to rake it in incognito under the light of the moon!  On the same side as the blue slide goes into this zone on the other corner I would put a red and white lighthouse – you’d climb up in the centre – with lots of portholes to look out from – and at the working lit light bit at the top you would descend via a red spiral slide to it’s base, over a couple of harmless slightly bumpy relatively smooth rocks back into the water.

Zone 5 could involve wet sponges.  I’m hoping to have a Spongebob Squarepants world on one half of it, on the other also within the seas a Finding Nemo themed area, and on the surface scenes in islands of Lilliput, Brobdingag, and the Houyhnhnms & Yahoos on and above Laputa, you reach this via see-through stairs so it feels like you’re flying, all the kingdoms in Gulliver’s Travels  – Swimming the dream.

The next Zone 6 allows you to experience what it really feels like to swim in the deep and to be an Astro Naut a Star Sailor.  On one side of the dark tiled pond there will be a submerged yellow submarine with a scene of fluorescent creatures from the depths, on the other a space ship within the waters with a view of reflected metallic lit stars and rounds of planets you can space walk around – being in water is the closest thing to weightlessness you can get on earth.  You’ll be given a head piece – both the deep diver and space suit head sets look remarkably similar, with an extended snorkel or pipe to the surface so you can really experience this.  You may be given flippers so you can steer yourself effortlessly so you can study your newly discovered environment easily.

Zone 7 is the Synchronised Swimming, skills school and stroke experimentation zone.  I’ve had fun swimming like a dolphin or seal, I have a whale of a time doing that.  I use a clam butterfly stroke for my feet and use my hands and arms as pulling flippers through the water and bend my body creasing it up and sometimes head to the bottom floor to touch my tummy onto it, like they do.  I also, for a break from backstroke to breathe when doing lengths, innovated what I call Boat Stroke, it is feet first, with them raised up together like the front or forward of a ship, I then row with my hands and arms.  It’s not fast but adjusting your body position you can speed yourself up.  You could try out things like mermaid flippers so you can swim like a mermaid or merman, or your fins could make you a pod of dolphins or whales.  Swim support fins would only be available in the Dome area as you would have to be a competent swimmer to swim in the Longitude Zones for safety. Synchronised Swimming moves can be taught, both individually and as a team.  Water Skills Awards can be aimed for – the good thing about the interactive wristbands with your data on them is that they can store what you’ve achieved and give you your certificates and badges once you’re all dried off.

Zone 8 is for Diving – an Olympic dimension regulation pool of the required depth and boards of standard heights above it – because the pool bottom is at ground level (we cannot undermine foundations) we may need to raise the roof a bit.  The pool surrounds will be bolstered by a wide wall which will be topped by the canal river stream being in mountain mode, in that it will be raised up and can have a very solid base to contain it.  The canal will go up a cave above which will be the diving board platforms, the individual springboards will also double up as wooden plank bridges across a fast flowing stream.  These would be placed on the other side near the Boats at Dock Zone.  The actual diving platform structure can be made to look like the peak of a mountain top, grey topped with a white cone.  If the roof needs raising a bit a few fluffy clouds could be surrounding it so it looks like you’re flying from heaven.  An additional diving confidence builder training slide could be added here, in sky blue where it would open up to a flat Y shape so you can start your flight with arms to your side like an aeroplane then point your arms forward like the nose of a rocket to land in the deep blue sea.  This may make doing the dives a more relaxing and thrilling experience, the scenery may distract you and calm you from the fear.

The canal would take the experiences of water courses, in a straight line.  The water would be pumped up to the top starting just after the cross over canal that stays level – so you have a choice to go up or remain relaxed in the slow flow.  So in the realms of Zone 7.  With a range of pumps in series, both to keep the water up and to keep it flowing around. Like a water jet pack, staff will be on hand for nozzle control, to make sure the power rating and direction makes it safe for individual users to ride.  Hydro flight in water.  So you will rise in your boat through the cave or a replica of the Box tunnel – could be a combo of the two, up into the open, onto the top in the calm and the quiet. Then it all starts to move down again, quite naturally and fast!  In order to stem the flow, a bit, there will be bump locks, these will be plastic, the kind of soft firm plastic you have on traffic cones, so they hold back the water to let you traverse in stages, as you do in Devizes, you bump a button and they open, they close automatically before opening the next one for you – this area will always be well watched over.  They’ll be on the level by the time they reach the Docks for them in an adjacent small zone to the Boats at Dock Zone.  This is where the various craft will be stored, selected, advised upon and issued.  The water would clearly be able to flow round on a level with all this other flow – either end of this will have staff with staffs in their hands to help people with their choices of water courses, to make sure they travel the way they wished to.  The various bridges over it to reach each zone will mirror the characteristic of that zone, so you’ll be totally in the zone as it were.  There will be a fairly narrow hard floor area at each point to stand upon each Pont d’Avignon or any other bridge from anywhere else.  Around the wall side there will be scenery to match too – the flow can be interesting in parts perhaps making you mildly spin for example, with the flow of this engineered to take you out again with you thinking you’d done it all by yourself, you’re a survivor and you know you are!  Right at the very top of the mountain where the flow is slow and calm proper reusable Christmas trees could be ‘planted’ they come in many varieties of tree you see.

Talking of Christmas and snow.  I am thinking through both wacky and wonderful ideas for the snow dome concept that was aired.  I will insert these here once fully formed.  Off to work on another area, will be back shortly.

As regards the dry sports that are featured within the box area, I have noticed when watching urban explorer videos of the Oasis closed that the overhead drones spotted all the outdoor facilities being well utilized.  I would put the squash courts outside; squash is seriously sweaty so that would be an improvement for all.  We can fit each in the available gaps in the landscape we see.  With the expansion of Swindon, the North now needs a sports centre – simple local pools are also needed, the Oasis has always been an experience venue, it should stay that way, I’m thinking Tadpole Farm way as I like the link with tadpoles and swimming, it’s a very clear link.

In order to build this I’d have the Oasis open Thursday to Sunday to allow major works to be done Monday to Wednesday.  I think doing all the box – Longitude The Map and other Zones on that side first would be a good plan when The Oasis is open.  Internal repairs can be made on the Dome side on closed days.  Once all the Longitude Zones are in place I’d close to recreate the Dome side.  Finally I’d do the works in the middle – using temporary changing tents as necessary and heated tube tunnels to link the two areas.  This is so it can be swum in and money can come in to pay for the works in the interim.

I know there is a lot here, loads of activities, but the Oasis when it was opened had stuff that others did not so many travelled miles to get to experience this.  In order to keep up we have to fill it up with fun.  As The Oasis is near both the railway station and the bus station in an easy to get to by road town, we will have them flooding in here again and going back home exhilarated.

A quick journey up the hill back to Old Town before I continue with creative ideas in what was once know as Swindon New Town by the current Railway Station.  This idea runs along the line which went into the Station in Old Town that no longer exists.  It incorporates the pillars in the Baptist Tabernacle and all the other stones remaining that were salvaged and still kept.  What I’m thinking is to recreate it, perhaps with all new masonry in the actual building and use the old pillar stones in an incorporated garden.

I’ve noted on maps that there is a current street name Roman Crescent and this is because there is a site of a Roman Villa there – viewable on old maps.  So as this building which was situated near the New Town Hall (the Library attached to this building) looked Roman placing it around here would suit.  I’m thinking of creating a Classical Music Venue alongside a Romantic Registry Office Wedding Venue.  I can see that looking and sounding good.  I would place it just down the road from the site of the Villa here at the Swindon red pointer:

To get to it you would travel in on the left hand side of the road on the steep footpath that goes under the railway bridge to a couple of houses.  This is a one way system for cars at this point, you would keep going down the hill to exit where the currently blocked off bit by the bridge would be opened up and then turn right along Yardlee walk.   At the point of another bridge there would be two way access for larger vehicles who would go straight up Stonehenge Road in a straight line to the venue, parking would be in the field just above the school’s playing field.  Yardlee walk would be drivable and go onto Trecastle Road, then a new road would be built going across the field using the little sticking out bit of road that looks like it needs to continue to join up with the widening Mill Lane at the point where there is an entrance to it near the bridge with it being one way up the hill turning right, reopening the road for that where it was closed fairly recently, and two way with a priority for traffic already on the road at the bridge.  You see there was no excuse to close the road to traffic, it was neither green (as this is an area of green fields being built on) nor necessary (due to increased traffic expected to the new buildings) as a little thinking which I have done solves this.  The desire for safe cycling and pedestrian routes are served via the Old Railway Path, ironically the access path off this at Mill Lane, where the road is currently closed had it’s tarmac ripped out by what I remember as a bit of nimbyism.  In fact all the little paths leading off or on the Old Railway Path need to be better, smoothed off, wider, slightly less steep so cyclists can safely leave and enter without awful effort and walkers can pass comfortably too.  The concerns raised regarding motorbike use are easily solvable via simple cctv installed at these points.  The railway path has an easy up slope and panoramic views, in some places it could be improved like the steep bit before the hedging near Mannington and that gate removed for smooth passage, that sort of thing, these are really substantial green improvements.

My train of thought now travels back down to the Railway Village.  This is where I dream of putting the Museums, in the Heritage Quarter of our town.  My reasoning for this location is that Locomotive transportation is located so close – when I have visited other towns for other reasons what I have wanted is that where I am going to be easy to get to without a lot of thinking, travel is tiring and too much to do can make you vulnerable to all sorts of things.  This is so easy.  The Museums would be visible from the track and so near to the bus station too, it’ll be a piece of cake or British Rail Danish Pastry – the town was named after a Dane King Swein after all – to reach.  After travelling on the straight bit of track you would then leave the Station and move along a simple straight bit of road along the pavement and you would straightforwardly arrive.

I’m going to start on the Art Museum to house Swindon’s Spectacular Renowned Collection at the far end first.  This would be located in the current Bristol Street Car Park.  The building structure would go as far as the building structure of the next door UTC building as I wish to place the canal at the back of it in that space.  The Ace thing about having a canal there is that it is brilliant security as trying to traverse a body of water to raid a building is hard and carrying stolen artwork over it would risk the value of the nicked asset, making it a relaxed form of wall, non-antagonistic so not threatening in appearance also.  Another security feature is the fact that this is going to be a completely windowless box for the artwork within.  This secures the treasured art itself as light and atmosphere needs to be controlled otherwise work can deteriorate.  We will use the windows in the front for offices, these will be accessed via a separate entrance so that the staff cannot be coerced in any way in a heist.  There will be a naturally lit rooftop studio, again with sharing the separate entrance with the offices, but in no way able to get into the collection space below.  That’s the serious stuff covered.

This will be called THE SIGNAL BOX Art signposts and signifies, it directs thoughts and feelings, it uses a spectrum of colour to pass on a message.  This name has a clear Railway Link.  I’m sure your mind is buzzing with other concepts too, my mind is too, I’ll let it continue to move you and explain the structure of the place.  The outer wrapper will be layered, the lower layer as it is with the station stone.  The next a pebble dash of grey stones like on the tracks. Adding other stone to illustrate other structures at the bottom is a possibility, copper and plum stones just two examples, could look like little buildings and fields on a train set in a row. After this a couple of likes of interlinked track – my concept is an array of what this could be structured with but it must be something that will stay up there in a molecularly stable format needing not a lot of maintenance, so not wood.  The layer on top of that a speed slate illusion, where slate slices are placed in such a way to look like trains travelling at speed with the sticking out slate and those inwardly placed creating a picture to show this, the trains could be quite narrow so you can get a good number of designs speeding past each other here.   The top would be the glass crystal looking art studio for professionals who wished to use this space – could have schools in a space there, but this is primarily a quiet very well-lit space of non-interruption so you can do your best work.  The glass crystal effect will be to produce a design that makes you feel you are in a train with scenery, would be a row of trains like in a station, the odd bird perhaps part of the design (discuss) using a metal frame and flat glass panels – so rainbow distorted light is not created – no colour would be used as this would be really annoying for the artists to know what colours they were using when creating their works. I can imagine different eras of trains with there carriages starting with one with a tall chimney stack to smooth recent designs, mainly the old however as they are more interesting and more detailed structurally.  The angles and form would create a 3-D impression visible from satellites, amazing!  The wall showing to the current live Railway Track could have a screen that looks like a massive station place sign which advertises what there is within which passengers will see as they pass – we should ask the station to allow people to stop off here for a break to carry on their travels later on in the day to allow them to do that with ease.

Inside I’m thinking of a flexible space Meccano structure so if we get large exhibits from time to time we can accommodate them.  We can also easily engineer very small exhibitions within.  To enter, I envision from one side, you could be transported on a conveyor belt with tracks drawn on it, this would be very accessible, seeing various visions of rural beauty as you go on your journey to be within.  In order to process long crowds this would then keep going round the next 2 sides.  The second side would be walked and be a night and day cities-scape and the third a vision of stations complete with bench seating, these are so if large numbers arrive at one time, they can be safely waiting to go in.  You will be Signposted along the way!  You will be Signalled in to The Box!

As an add on we could as we accommodate the Bodleian Library stored up in the Wroughton hangers, as a feature in this place, a book shelf somewhere on site, I think that would be lovely, to see a sample of all the academic books, inspirational literature, mindblowing scientific reports, transformational technical tomes et cetera would be rather a treat to see and mentally digest too.

This is a great transition too to the next Museum just down the road.  From Bristles of Brushes on Bristol Street through London Road then Sheppard Street and on to Station Road.  Here you will find THE ENGINE SHED.  I’m housing this on what is currently the Main Car Park using the frontages visible on the street as part of the building, they were once part of a building, they will return to be part of a building again.  This structure will be more of a rectangle shape, like a shed.  You would enter via the gate at Minton Place, then progressing through the tunnel you’d go through a steam punk corridor, this would also act as a fun security device.  I’m thinking of seeing before you as gates open and close the experience of being in an engine, with a firewall which you’d wait for it to stop, go through that, then a cogwheel knot you’d have to wait for it to unravel, lastly the steam zone where you’d wait for the clouds to clear.  You’d be in capsules seeing this and this will awesomely encapsulate the experience you are about to see.

What would be within the Museum would be what is held at the London Science Museum stores up in Wroughton, they have loads of lovely engines up there.  I remember going to an Open Day where they raced 3 cars dating from 1901-1909 one was Steam, as expected, one an early Petrol engine, the third car was Electric, with Batteries in the Boot – they ALL went fast – which goes to show we could have been green a century ago.  I remember as a child seeing the children’s zone in the Museum at the time, the exhibits were very interactive with lots of buttons to press, I loved them, I would love to press the button on the train set which I thought if I press it faster it will go faster.  I’m hopeful they have these stored somewhere so we can have these here.  This locomotive shed is perfectly positioned to be seriously near to the science Research Council buildings and the UK Space Agency!  I am all excited just thinking about it and all the amazing stuff they could put in here relating to all that!  I could go on and on and on.

The shed could be Blueprint Blue on the outside with white line designs raised from this surface using pipes – this will make it easier to keep it looking good in the long term.  Parts, tools and bits could appear to be screwed in, nailed to or hung on its structure too to make you think what you could do too if you put your mind to it.  The shed will be a metal design similar in corrugation to very large warehouse structures being built now.

A lot of experiments could occur within, allowing the future and present scientists to have access to the full works Chemistry Set their Parents and Grandparents enjoyed and were inspired by, a very hands-on doing sort of place.  Physics experiments on forces using your own body to fully immerse yourself in, you’ll physically really get in then! – a little bit of looking a lot of interaction In To Action!

The canal will be calmly flowing past here too, it’ll need a part of the Station Road West, the Staff and the Main car park.  The canal will go into two in the West Car Park flowing over the wall to go down to re-join where it once flowed where there is a footpath and cycle path – don’t worry I’ve walked that through and worked that out and all can keep going there, I have a plan.  I’ve also worked out how to get cars across and the best place for this so they can continue to park here a bit, I’m thinking of building up the building where the wall is for more capacity and other places and make it look nice too.  It’ll cross over a bit to just beyond the tunnel, eventually heading in a straight line to go in front of Signal Point to provide an improved front of Station look in the form of a little Aqueduct – to cross over and go along considerately where the car parks are, over the low bridge and then on in the verge area of Station Road.  I will describe its next paths later, I have had a very good look at all this.  Just for clarity I have looked at the bit over Rodbourne Road, it will past behine the Vicarage Nursery and St. Mark’s Church along the line it is travelling as it goes over the bridge and it will enter this area at the back of the UTC.  A small number of small buildings may need to be relocated, mostly the path is completely clear, which is great, and as these areas are not used a lot this route is not disruptive to industry, as would a route cutting off current transport routes, to me it has to do that, it makes good business sense.

Talking of business, which we will once we’ve crossed the road over to The Mechanics’ Institute.  I think a practical use for it would be as a Conference Centre.  It was always a place of learning, exploring, going forward, progress.  It was the first Lending Library in the Country, 8 years before the one in Manchester.  I did think once on the Millennium that this would be a perfect location for a library once again, in the centre of town near public transport.  We have a new library now.  I have been to quite a few Exhibitions and they usually are in large airless warehouses effectively, are very noisy and exhausting.  That’s why this building lends itself better to this purpose.  There is privacy and relative peace to think with its structure.

It is also perfectly located being an easy street along from the station and the buses go around it too, nearly all the time, so getting dropped off and picked up there is reassuring, you don’t have to remember where to go.

There are hotels of reasonable budgets in the area and a few new ones being built very near too, and there is also the potential of other office blocks being converted in this way; I’m thinking Signal Point at the Station, the Debenhams Bon Marche building, the old, new to me as an 1980s lady Zurich and Allied Dunbar buildings – I have been in rooms in big cities where you couldn’t open the window, you really don’t mind for a night or two or few as it means your space in an unfamiliar location is secure – air-conditioning ventilation could always be installed with instant personal temperature variation with fresh air.  There are plentiful power points, plumbing is all that’s required, from my memory the ceilings have space gaps in them, possible to put this there.  There’d be a good market for both high end and extreme budget places to be created to suit all comers.  There are many other office blocks, a long list, what with increasing working from home, and there is a bus to Avebury from Swindon, as there is a bus to Stonehenge from Salisbury, we are also near the Cotswolds, so a safe hotel space allows you to explore great places, and Swindon is one of them.

Next are the plans:

Images courtesy of The Mechanics’ Institute Trust

https://mechanics-trust.org.uk/

I would keep the proposal structure up to a point, and the point is the wall between the Cinema and the Forum.  The windows on the building housing the forum are aesthetically pleasing, the symmetry at this end needs to be preserved also it will look lovely that way.  The forum is an open discussion and presentation zone, I would bring the presentation screen closer and make it retractable so it could perform other uses, it good act as a Greek theatre too.  The open plan would allow a passage to walk by the windows to access the other side. An opening would be made in the wall for this by the left hand side entrance to the Cinema.  As the forum has rising seating, which the Cinema auditorium would be better to have too for a good view, it would also be possible to have a walkway on this side too.  There already is a corridor in the plan behind the Cinema, there just needs to be two openings at the left hand side of the Cinema, one from that corridor into the cinema room area, and one into the Forum room.  You can them walk around the Forum surrounds and get to the other side both ways.

Upstairs access to the other side would be here past the forum on this side, in the area proposed to be an upstairs conservatory in The Mechanics’ Institute plans.  Then travelled through a widened to double the width passage to a central access to the one room roof area to the other 1892 extension entrance side.  It may be possible to do something similar on the stage lift side but I am concerned with both height and safety, the footfall may not need it.  This would enable a stage access only area beyond the central access.  If they needed one more width passage that wouldn’t impact on the stage area too greatly.

The roof room – accessible via steps and or an accessible slope, either side, as is slightly higher than the first floor owing to a part of The Forum (old Reading Room) ceiling – would be good for exhibitors, as they could use the triangular space behind them to store stuff, on shelves which could have locking roller blinds on them.  The four rooms, two top two below could have doors open for additional exhibitors or closed as staff recovery zones to get away from it all and have a relaxing break off your feet.

Again like for The Forum and the Cinema I think the Theatre should have rising seating in a theatrical form, not a tables and chairs setting – though a few could be placed underneath.  This should rise so that it meets the balcony, and continue to do so, so everyone gets a good view.  This will be good for traffic flow at the end of a performance.

The theatre would make an excellent presentation area.  Very good at conferences.  Big enough for a discussive style of event.  In this building there would therefore be three venues of differing style and size to suit multiple requirements.

There are further plans, sound structural proposals which are well thought through, photographs, diagrams and very interesting information to be found via this link https://www.swindon.gov.uk/info/20030/planning_and_regeneration/1016/the_swindon_heritage_action_zone/3 this helps visualise my thinking.  My purpose is to propose a viable economic use for the building.  This concept for a Conference Centre can colour your view on the conclusion of its restoration.

There wouldn’t be much of a need for catering bar drinks and very light refreshments because the town centre, very nearby would have plenty of these.  In fact some of these town centre caterers could help the hotels providing breakfasts in the morning, perhaps specialising in providing one item, cooking it whilst they prep.  So these elements can be removed.  Also the small shops, there is no need for more competition so probably not a lot of calling for these.  I wouldn’t have a specific Youth Wing.  It is extra space, it could have a shallow stage with accessible slopes to it.  I would make the dressing room area into an open plan zone.  For theatrical shows the original dressing areas could be recreated with barrier boards.  If we went up one more floor either side of the less interesting nor attractive middle block we could store these in a room above using the stage lift to move them.  There could be other small stores on the other side accessed via a standard lift.  I think structurally these would be better solid here.  In order to show the lovely windows that enter the theatre area and to let in light, I’d have the upper first floor as conservatories either side, they could seem to match the David Murray John Building in curvature, where the ground floor is curved and be pointy with 5 matching buttresses to hold them up on the other side. It’s all nice and open and simple and flexible.  With this sort of structure it would be possible to hold many events simultaneously to ensure full life on the site, or one big one.  From having attended events both at Earls Court and the NEC the National Exhibition Centre, I think it would be capable of comparable events.  Plus we have The Carriage Works nearby and potentially the Museums, both The Signal Box and The Engine Shed, if an event needed to stretch out a bit further.  I wouldn’t have the Buffet Car here, you could use this concept for coffee and a Danish pastry by The Engine Shed, there could be a range of engines on a track and road actually moving here, that would be a thrill to watch.

The Local Community would have access to all these facilities to use whenever it is free, the Locals could be given a number of access passes to go to events here of their choosing.  Having it as a Conference Centre means it’ll probably pay sufficiently to make free Community Events here very reasonable.  The Mechanics’ Institute aims have always been about going forward, learning all the time, bettering yourself and socialising.  So using the structure of the building to do this now for the people of the future is probably what they would want for it now if they were still alive.  Let’s do it, like this, for them, in their memories.  From the First Ever Public Library to The Library of Ideas!

Now walk to the right of this picture from the yellow stone to the red brick where you will find the Inspiration for the National Health Service.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/content/articles/2008/06/27/nhs_swindon_60th_feature.shtml

It used to have a Doctors’ Surgery in it.  It also had 2 healthy swimming pools, one shallow and really warm, the other long and large and quite cool.  The large pool is still open, as is the Turkish Baths.  The Turkish Baths consist of hot rooms of varying temperatures, saunas, steam room and two dipping pools, one tepid, the other really cold.

The Turkish Baths consist of; 2 steam rooms, a spa pool, a cold plunge, 3 interconnecting hot rooms (tepidarium, caldarium & sudatorium), showers

I would make the most of this and keep all these features as they are with my new idea for the place, with additional elements to give it an enhanced purpose.

I would make it into a Climatic Immersion Experience.  What I mean by that is that this place would be used to test yourself physically in various water and ice based experiences, so you could safely experience them prior to trying to do so in nature, to see if you were fit for it before putting yourself into unnecessary danger.  I was lucky to be able to experience swimming in glacial waters in New Zealand whilst on a coach experience tour of different things including walking up a glacier. I thought that this was the only opportunity I’d have to do this, as it was only safe as there were other people around, I would never do this on my own because that would be dangerous.  This is what I am visualising for this site, so people can dip into experiences on safe ground.

I would have 3 levels of experience, Relaxing – where you just casually go in to see what it’s like, Passive – where you’d go in for a time in a less insulated way – say cold experiences in a swimsuit.  And Active – where you’d say go into a humid environment and cycle on a stationary pedal bike, perhaps wired up and monitored, to research your fitness levels prior to taking on and expedition or for personal curiosity.

I’d turn the warm small pool into a Caribbean experience, the long cold pool into an Atlantic experience.  Both could have fun sessions with inflatables.  I’m imagining the Atlantic pool could conduct rescue and life-saving exercises too.

There could be a large Room of Rain – the rain could be tropical or freezing – the floor could be squishy and hard to walk fast on with obstacles to simulate environments underfoot – the feel of creatures and plants but not actually real.  There could be wind added, and trees and slopes.  You could test yourself in here walking around in it for hours to see how you’d fare in the wild, and through doing so build up fitness for it (you could bring luggage on board to make it all the more real on your back) so when you arrive at location this is one less thing you have to factor in, that box has been ticked.

Similarly Snow and Ice Rooms – not necessarily in a fun way, much more seriously focussed.  A continuous pool with icy water with an ice in it option could be available to swim in so you can see how long you would actually survive at sea in the Arctic or Antarctic.  Perhaps a still pool with a lump of slippery ice you’ve got to climb onto.  Another continuous pool could be really hot, where you’d need to see how long you can swim swiftly in it, perhaps being only able to drink water to replace sweat of the same high temperature as if you were in that environment fridge temperature water would not be available to you.

A Snow room with a Blizzard option to turn on so you get to experience how that feels like.

 

sWINdon

WINter

Wonderland

Mountain

This will be sited where Clare’s Equipment was, my name is also Clare!  Previous to this it was a massive Great Western Railway Workshed!! From Rail tracks to Supermarket trolleys to Ski trails and beyond!!!

Another person whose name is Clare presented the Winter Olympics for the BBC as can be seen here:

This was Shed 24 of the GWR works Swindon

This site is across the road from the Oasis on A Massive triangular site:

The site is well shaped for this.

I will trace the above and sketch my plans for the 3 layers of the Mountain, Base, Inner and Top.

The Base will be dug to be underground – there are lovely trees I noted when doing a walk round of the site and digging down will dig these up, they can then be planted in Swindon parks, I was inspired by seeing previous pictures of the GWR Park on Faringdon Road to make a little woodland there or a sound and sight shield from the road, to make it more tranquil and beautiful (you’ll have to move the clever train spring bulb formation very carefully to be placed elsewhere in the park.

base level :

You can see from my sketch of The Base level that it is  composed of mainly flat ice surface activities, plus slow and thoughtful ice related activities so the site is both completely inclusive and fun for all.  You can also see from the lines coming from the following parts that they can accommodate spectators when events are on, most of the time they will specialise in introducing and training people to these disciplines.  In the Speed Skating the slower people will be in the outer rings in normal leisure time.  This means people can safely try their hand at Figure Skating moves without fear of collisions:

Curling Corner

Ice Hockey

Figure Skating

Speed Skating

This will be done in a sloping shelf format – so not too much room taken up and everyone is close to the action, imagine a book shelf where the shelves are sloping down at the front.

These activities are sited at the higher end of the Mountain.

At the lower end of the Mountain will be:

General Skating – Freedom to do what you like.

With all the specific activities on this level you can move between them, so you could choose to use this for warming up and cooling down or for skating friendly with others.

Frozen Land – like the movie set to look and feel like it.  It’ll be designed to help the little and the slow to start on the ice.  Actual Ice Skates with blades will not be present, we will use slidey shoes like they do in curling instead most of the time.  However, if you show that you are good and it and sensible too we can let you do this to progress on dual blade skates and when we see you can skate well on these allow you to use the single blade skate.  There will be times when each option is what you can only do at that time to help everyone learn at their own pace.  There will be penguins for the little ones to balance on, Olaf snowmen for those a bit bigger.  Polar Bears tall enough for a fully grown-up person for their Parents and Grandparents to support themselves whilst being around for their little ones.  There will be items to aim for in the middle so your journeys do not have to be too long, like trees, Christmas trees, snowflake tables and doorways you can go through, log benches you can sit on for a rest, that sort of thing, a useful distraction from the fear with the words ‘Let it Go’ ‘Let it Snow’ ‘Grow Stronger’ ‘Go Faster’ on the perimeter walls to motivate the starter skaters.

Iceland – which I would love to be sponsored and run by Iceland the supermarket with a distribution depot nearby in part selling some small stuff – Ice Creams!  And to look like Iceland the country with projection screens to make you think you are there and other icy lands too, with freezing breezes, not too fast nor too cold as this is meant to be fun.  You could hear sounds of real animals and see some life size models.  You can go into an igloo.  Experience what it’s like in an Ice Hotel. You could learn how to make an igloo with an Eskimo and create you own Ice Sculptures too, you could walk on parts of glaciers and polar ice as if you were there – you’ll be provided with suitable footwear for this zone.

Fondue Fountain, Alpen Bowl, Slush Puppies – whilst with the Oasis next door I’ve said all food could be got at the International Street Food location nearby I concede that this place is cold all over and people will need something to keep themselves going – this is not a restaurant but a sampler site so you can get snack sized quantities to keep you going.

The Equipment store will be on this floor and also The Entrance.

Inner Middle :

In the Inner Middle at this point there will be a Take Off Platform – this will be quite high up, just below the ceiling. There will be a corridor from this Take Off Platform to get to the other areas, the Snowboard Cross and the Tobogganing For All Area.

The activities in this area going left to right or South West to North East are:

The Luge, BobSleigh, Skeleton Spaghetti – this will have one main run coursing its way around the entire large area. Because when these are placed on a hill there is space above them and space below – if you removed them from that hill and put them into a box, this is in a box, so that space can be filled with more tracks.  These tracks can compose of elements of standard tracks, so athletes can practice each one individually, a mechanical speed pusher could be innovated so you can discover the difference each speed makes on your line for middle of track elements.  A couple of shorter, safer, easier tracks could be included to introduce people to this in this space.  It is probably clear to you now why I call this Spaghetti!  To get to the top again follow the arrows to the large lift.

The Snowboard Cross zone is the next field of play.  This will have 2 or 3 tracks, which for those who’d like it timer pads, press them at the start and finish to add the parts together to get your cumulative time.  You go down the snowy slope and up the conveyor belt 3 times, the conveyor could be a passenger conveyor belt like at airports, smooth, but on a slope.  Elements will be cumulated together compatibly. – called a magic carpet in the trade.  They could cross over so using the curves you can create your own course, and add an element of danger – just like the real thing!

The next bit in the triangle shape at the end will be a Tobogganing For All area.  This will have a low rope tow to get back to the top of the slope, which will have handles to hold onto, like as if you are holding a lead taking your dog for a walk, you stay on your toboggan and get a fun ride upwards.  There will be a snow machine and also a mild wind machine to make it feel like you are in a snow dome globe or in a bit of a blizzard, which is also a bit of fun with it in your face.  Sequences can be snow + wind , snow no wind , wind no snow , wait a while and repeat in any order.  In a little corner of this area there could be a place for making real snowmen, with a place to colour in snow to add features.

TOP LAYER :

At the side starting at the top layer would be an Olympic sized Pipe, which you will be under when you enter the building and see from the take off platform in the middle.

This will be accessed via The Peak, which will be where everyone launches from.

On the side parallel to the Pipe will be The Moguls

Parallel and on one side at a slight angle a Snowboarding Course.

The next element on the top will be parallel to this and will be a Ski Jump in the form of a Big Air – as in a launching one from a ski slope where you perform tricks in the air – that sort of ski jump e.g. ski, take off, turn in the air, land hopefully successfully.  Perhaps there could be 3 heights of the jump narrowly placed next to each other for progression.

A triangular Gentle Green level Ski Slope will be next.

Around from that a ‘Normal’ Ski Jump – and as these have numbered steps to launch from we could allow riders and flyers to take this a step at a time so that Normal would be at the 100^th step and there would be others to build up to that, example names at specific steps I’ve thought of are Sub Normal, Long Subway – could be sponsored by Subway, perhaps these could be placed at 50 and 75 respectfully, others could think of other wacky names for the others e.g. 25 could be a Greggs – I’m on a roll here, a sausage roll!

To the side of that the Slalom – this could integrate a permanent giant and regular slalom – I did note at the Paralympics they used the very thin regular slalom poles for the partially sighted which did make me think that they should either use wider, brighter, lit up ones for them or even – if permitted and okay for the environment colour the snow for them – perhaps with a wide black ash line to weave in and out of – also the fact that most guides are men this would equalise participation for females.

After this the Blue level gradient Alpine ski slope – this could have integrated irregular camber in built – this would be a massive ask but it would be satisfying for regular users : a movable slope so as to create more variants of angles to practice on.

The Landing Zone would be at the bottom of the Green and Blue Ski Slopes. Slalom and Normal Ski Jump.

In order to get back to the top there would be travellators running around the edges starting with one at the bottom of the Moguls, Snowboarding Course, Big Air – maybe going one way to rise to The Peak at the side of the Moguls.  Going the other way from the Green Ski Slope, the Normal Ski Jump, the Slalom and the Alpine Blue Ski Slope rounding off at the back of the Landing Zone, then up on the other side of the Alpine.  They would need to be straight so there would be several with flat surface gaps in between these to allow people in and on and a waiting area from one to the other.

The roof above the top layer would be topped with blue solar panels, which would be at different angles to look like a crystalline mountain top, underneath this on the ceiling there would be many small snow machines * so the snow * could be * spread out * in each individual spout * there would be an array of spouts * like an asterisk * so it would fall light like snow * and be dispersed gently and evenly on the piste.

At early evening in the Winter nights the solar panels could become an aurora display, wonderous for all to behold.

The peak of the solar mountain top would be white snow capped topped by a six sided windmill looking like a rotating snowflake.  This will pivot on a pole so this will be topped with a twinkling star:

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

This WINter Wonderland Mountain is based in the North Star area of Swindon after all, which is named after a train, which was named after a Star, get my train of thought!?

Driving in to Swindon, you know you are getting near when you see the Christchurch spire and the modern David Murray John building, this will stick up a little bit more than them and inspire people to come into the town for a bit of fun, they will know exactly where to come!

Being right next door to the Oasis is excellent for this as all the slides I have suggested will be ideal training for the icy spaghetti track, and the diving and river will be good for the ski jumping and snow boarding.

Once people have tried out what is available at the centre of (the s can look like someone skiing, like the logo of Beijing 2022) sWINdon WINTER Wonderland Mountain (the M like a mountain!) they can go just outside our town for more experience.  It is Ace that we have an outside Waterpark so near by where you can go water skiing. Knowing that those who ski jumped and did jumping tricks with their snow boards tried them out first in water is really handy here, as there could be a dedicated lake side facility for this, preferably a small lake as using a metallic grid in the water this could be frozen in the Winter for a more realistic experience and a snow machine activated to make the surface genuine.

It is also very handy that there is an Extreme Trampoline Park at the Link Centre as athletes practice and hone their moves from trampolines.  Here also the Swindon Wildcats play their Ice Hockey at the side of the building there.  I was thinking that 2 of 3 sides of the ice rink where they play and people skate on (I think this should remain as a budget venue) could be expanded outwards to create greater spectator seating to help support the team and allowing Swindon to have more than one team to train to be the best with each other.

I noted the shooting element in the Combined Event.  We have a long-established shooting school by Barbury Castle, so they could manage the shooting element safely.  I’ve been looking at appropriate hills to create artificial slopes on to, excluding all those that have  archaeological features on them.  I did happily find a hill suitable for practicing the combined event on very near to the Shooting School, Lower Upham Farm.  They have got a little gallop there so I reckon they would be up for it.

I wanted to do a new kid of artificial snow slope, one that looked like and felt more like the real thing.  And we have chalk on our hills and that is lovely and white.  I was imagining in tribute to Swindon, in particular King Swein Forkbeard of Denmark who brought his Danish breed of pig here to this Hill or Dune (Swein’s Dune => Sweindune => Swindun => Swindon) with him to it’s new home in Wiltshire – hence Wiltshire Ham – we had Wild Boar before (in the days of Asterisk*! (*fictional but based on fact in fact) )  that the combined track design could look like a pig design in the hill, rather like the White Horses of Wiltshire.

The way this would be made is by mixing chalk with clear or white plastic making a hard surface.  The next layer would be chalk plus plastic plus a shiny + glittery additive.  Within these layers would be a metal grid, both holding it firmly in place and creating a cooling current, so we could bring the temperature of all of this freezing. Surrounding that could be a fuzz of metal to conduct this cold out widely. On top of all of this artificial snow could be pumped.  If it’s good enough for the Olympics it will certainly do the trick here.  We can pump natural water in and as is melts it will return to being natural water.  The firm surface underneath this will have to be nice enough to use for Summer sports such as zorbing as it would be uneconomic and unnatural to keep it snowed under in the heat.

Other slopes could be made in this way for different reasons, Moguls just one example.

So everyone could launch their Winter Olympic and Paralympic careers here.  Progression centres I have imagined could be for Swindon’s centre in the Brecon Beacons in South Wales.

I was thinking we needed to improve our national facilities if we were to do better at the Olympics going forward.  It is because there are Curling facilities in Scotland that these people do so well in Curling.  I was imagining sides across the country ultimately.  Fortunately when I clicked on the Ordnance Survey shop page it came up with 3D maps of exactly the places I would put these for e.g.s:

Snowdon

The Peak District

The Big Ben Nevis National Winter World Standard Olympic Centre – it did seem very obvious to me that Scotland would be the place for a joint Professional and joyful Amateur site of the best standards, it is the UK’s highest peak after all.

Following on from the sketches for the arrangements of each base level, Inner Middle and TOP LAYER are the maps of possible Progression places nationally.

https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/dorrigo-a4-3d-map-of-sw-england/

same map focussing on the Brecon Beacons

https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/dorrigo-3d-a4-snowdon-summit-relief-map/

https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/dorrigo-3d-peak-district-relief-map/

https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/dorrigo-3d-ben-nevis-and-glen-coe-relief-map/

I will return to wet and watery things, water is the universal solvent, it carries the ingredients of life, the canal through the town which I talked of earlier on, but I first wish to walk through the town, from the Swindon Winter Wonderland Mountain, past the renewed and even more exciting Oasis, through the Art and Science Museums, The Signal Box and The Engine Shed by the Survival Centre, the Climatic Immersion Experience at the Health Hydro, having a bite to eat en route in town and then pausing at the top bit by the Wyvern Theatre.  I’ll have talked to many people along the way to say hello.  People have said we need a new venue in town, a new theatre, somewhere for big music names to play in town.  I think I recall a rumour of them saying they wished to close and relocate the Magistrates, they are currently closed because there is a crack in the building, so that is a possibility.  Looking at these two aerial photos you can see that the space available matches the space taken by Wembley Arena.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What I was thinking is that for massive music names and other genres of entertainment with very popular providers is that it is one mega venue.

This could be split into smaller theatres by the use of screens, so the stages are located in the centre, with dividers around, backstage and green rooms would be located under the seating surrounding this.  One end would be a very well equipped big stage for the single artist events.  The current Wyvern Theatre is a small venue, and a town the size of Swindon should have a bigger venue, particularly with its excellent transport links – easy to get in and out of generally speaking.  The far end could have its seating formatted in the half round, so if you wished to stage Greek tragedies it would feel very real, and half of The Globe for Shakespeare comedies.  The sides could have sliding screens so large professional and small school plays could be seen at the same site – which would be a thrill for a young thespian to think they had acted in exactly the same place as their hero worshipped idol.

The building choice of design could be either of these, perhaps put to a vote:

A love train – old steam engine design a bit like Thomas the Tank Engine

A flying pig – in tribute to Swein Forkbeard who brought Danish bacon to the town

A dune or hill – dune dun don – a simple design which could feature elements of the above in order to illustrate the Swine’s Dune history in a fun and captivating way.

At the rear and fore of the building training, dancing, rehearsal rooms, media and production facilities could be placed.

This is the ideal site for this as it is near all the eateries, which are in a roundabout way on the way to the station, and so near the bus boulevard too, so exiting the venue with minimal impact on locals will be very efficient.  Their coaches could wait on each side facing the way that is ideal for their destination. Staff could be guide people individually to these points too.  People could go for a park and ride option also as when I have been to Wembley industrial estates around charge people to park in their workplace car parks, there are plenty in Swindon which would be willing to make money from this, and they could deliver and pick up people, or there could be an arranged minibus service to all estates too.

Talking of driving, and thinking of Wembley Stadium, yes we could in the Borough of Swindon have a venue that size, if you go up to where the Princess Alexandra hospital at RAF Wroughton once was,  I’m very familiar with this as my Mother Wing Cdr. Jo Kingston, was posted there as the Registrar and CMO, and this led me to live in Swindon, and the hangers on the airfield.  When my Step Father retired – they’d met in the Falklands in the late 80s, he had fought in the conflict in 1984, he had a retirement party surrounded by fantastic artifacts, which I will remember all my life.  This inspired me to create a green Mega Hanger in a location there.  This could be the size of Wembley Stadium.  Again see the aerial photos and you can see from the location that there is a lot of scope of where in the airfield site to place it from the photographs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The great thing about this place as a venue is that it is really easy to get in and out of it at the end, and practically straight on to main roads and the motorway too.  When you go to a major event in Wembley it can take about an hour to get out of the car park.  With this location cars and coaches could be easily organised to go there directly, North, South, East and West.  Designated zones to park on in the airfield based on where your home location is, and your car could face that way ready to go. I’ve imagined the system – even using temporary traffic lights for each line of traffic placed there.

To exit east you would travel from here 51.50489927562029, -1.7908405391880058

out along the farmtrack, turn right, then left, along some more, through the field turning right again to meet the Ridgeway road turning left, and on until you meet the A346 where you can go right to go south or left again to reach the M4 at Junction 15 and the east and the A419 to go further north.

To go West you’d exit at the A4361 and go left and then right and follow this road until you reached Junction 16.  This could be your south west route too.

It all depends where you are coming from.  Locals will know other routes to get in to this venue – there would be a lot of direction signs – I remember a high traffic sign for Madonna on the M4 into Cardiff which was exciting, lit venue signage – very useful if you are in the area for the first time ever or infrequently, reassuring and relaxing.  We would recommend people turn up well in advance on the day, say in the morning or early afternoon, and then the venue will provide free in and out buses to the town centre street food eatery, so it will be possible for people to eat well.  Many venues do not allow you to bring your own food it and then when you get inside it is just expensive rubbish, to think great and be fit to dance through the event you need to eat well.  As events vary – you could have Winter inside equestrian for example – and they are not always on, it might be a better business plan to just go down the road – on event days another option could be to bring the street food to here – so there will be no need to provide permanent catering.  Big matches of all sorts of sports could obviously use this space.

The design would completely blend in with the environment as the roof could be of grass or look like it. Perhaps people could walk on it and it could be decorated with real or artificial flowers occasionally, natural flowers are on chalk in short soil depths, so it would be possible to integrate this sort of thing, and that would be lovely.  It could be dug down – archaeological preservation permitting – as Wembley is – air vents could look like trees like those on mounds nearby.  The curve of the roof would gently land at ground level.  One end would be enclosed and useful as a large space for stage trucks and could have massive doors as hangers do for aircraft – this will give great ventilation for the event, keeping everyone cool, and be a great fire escape.  The other end could be a window with vents in it, and totally opening at the bottom of French windows  for easy and speedy entry and exit – crowd processing could occur within streaming people in a lovely kind way – often this treatment is unnecessarily rough producing a male aggressive environment – they weirdly control liquids coming in yet booze flows far too freely, treating people more gently and with respect that they are here for a positive purpose, would generate a better more feminine friendly atmosphere.  Rainbows of flowers would help too!